A Rant about Microbrewery Marketing

In all my life, I've met few beers that really cut the mustard as far as good branding.  A few of us wax eloquent on how the macro-brewers each use their own brand of marketing to bring the horses to the well - Coors tries to get their beer as close to 0 Kelvin as possible while Miller tries to prove your masculinity better than your raised F-350 Crewcab Dually, meanwhile Budweiser is just trying to get you to have a good time while keeping your BAC at a constant 0.08 so you can ignore your total lack of self-worth.  Adorable.

The microbrews of course focus more on the craft than the packaging, but let's be frank - we aren't THAT impressed with their marketing - I've drank more IPAs with the word "hops" less-than-artfully weaved into the name of the beer than Dennis Miller has obscurely-sourced jokes.  But the last several beers I've drank don't even try.

The new rub in beer marketing is AREA CODE.  Yes, something that was built to help the phone operators in the 1940s and 1950s now consummates "branding"  - and why not?  I mean heck, the brilliance that is rap lyrics has been using this poetic device since the mid-90s. From your 512s to your 471s to your 805s, we've decided to just pick up a phonebook and name our beer.   I wonder which SD brewery gets to lay claim to 619, though...beer maid mud wrestling to choose the champ, anyone?

In the end, the beer proves itself despite its name, and really such a thing as nomenclature shouldn't bother me - but I feel like a preserved beverage such as beer, or wine, or whisky, should always keep such a thing in mind - that sometimes the beautifully wrapped present should have some soul in and of itself.  Can such a thing become its own demon?  Sure - take a look at a brewery like Dogfish Head, where the brewers are so enamored with their Ed Hardy tee-shirts, steampunk treehouses and Discovery TV shows that they lose sight of crafting an amazing beer.  Nevertheless, on Christmas morning, the package that is lusted after the most is often the most beautiful under the tree.  Just saying.